Fierce Conversations: Post #2

Opening Statement: Author, Susan Scott, suggests scripting this out and rehearsing it as if you were an actor in a movie. Here are the first three of seven components of the opening statement. This statement usually takes a about a minute to deliver. It is to the point but powerful…not rambling but very focused. What follows is an example of a direct report chatting with his boss (Joe) about their relationship:

a. Name the Issue: Put a name on it to identify the issue, clearly and succinctly. Focus will help the solution process. Example: “Joe, I want to talk about our working relationship.”

b. Select a specific example that illustrates the behavior or situation you want to change. Find an incident that hits the heart of the issue without rambling on—which could get very distracting and undercut your point. Example: “Last week in a meeting, you told me to shut up and listen. And two weeks ago, you cut me off when I was offering an observation about the new building plans.”

c. Describe your emotions about this issue. It’s important to let people know how you feel, otherwise they’re clueless. Often, a clear declaration about how you feel can be disarming. Example: “Joe, when you say things like “shut up” especially in a public setting, I get angry and insulted—then de-motivated and unhappy.”