This Week on Survival Leadership

This  Week on Survival Leadership
Daring Greatly

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Thursday, August 21, 2014

Daring Greatly: Post #7--Work and School

Re-humanize work and school. Leaders are those who hold themselves accountable for finding potential in people and process. It’s not about position but attitude and behavior. Leading in a culture of scarcity—“never enough”—is tough. Fear of failure and rejection inhibits innovation at school and work. “Blaming, gossiping, name-calling and harassment are all behavioral clues that shame has permeated a culture.” Often kids are shamed at school about something they created (writing, drawing, art, etc.) and it can scar them for a LONG time. Same at work.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Daring Greatly: Post #6--The Gap

Mind the Gap. “The gap” is the distance between our aspirational and practiced values. We often say one thing but do another, and that creates a credibility and vulnerability value gap. Parents and bosses lose credibility when the say-do gap is large.  When our practiced values conflict regularly with our cultural values and aspirations, disengagement is inevitable. Engagement doesn’t come from compliance but from connection, love and vulnerability.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Daring Greatly: Post #5--Vulnerablity Armor

Vulnerability Armor: “Vulnerability is the last thing I want to see in me, but the first thing I look for in you.” A scarcity mentality leads to shame, comparison (with others), and disengagement (pulling away). An “enough” mindset brings a sense of worthiness, boundaries and engagement. When we were kids, we started to build shields to protect ourselves. Bravado, perfectionism, being cool, critical and more became our armor—the wall we put around ourselves—our protective mask, a persona. Some ways we armor up:
a.    Numbing is an addiction shield (anything to dull the pain of being "less than"): Workaholics, alcohol, drugs, sex, eating disorders, bullying, violence, even suicide. Setting up boundaries helps us deal with the numbing of trying to be everything to everyone, all the time.
b.    Cynicism, Criticism, Cool, and Cruelty are shields used to protect us from vulnerability: Name calling, putting others down, being too cool. These are all defenses against being seen as vulnerable. Mean-spirited folks hide behind the cruelty shield. Pointing out flaws in others is ultimately a dead giveaway that we’re hurting.

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