This is the fifth of a series of posts based on my review of the book, Difficult Conversations (By Stone, Patton and Heen, Penguin Books, 2000). I highly recommend this book.
The “Identity Conversation”
1. Difficult conversations often involve facing our own identity: Am I a decent person? Am I competent? Am I loveable?
2. This conversation is sometimes expressed but always considered because it can get in the way of making good contribution to the difficult conversation.
3. For example, in the "house conversation" (in an earlier post), if the husban began to argue vehemently, even stubbornly, where he have always pictured himself as flexible—he has to acknowledge why this is so important to him, or he might not like the outcome, no matter what happens.