Search Inside Yourself: : Post #4--Mental Habits

Creating Useful Mental Habits
a.    Triggers. Simple comments by our boss or spouse can trigger an emotional response from the amygdala that sends a message to the upper, cognitive brain for help in adapting to a stressor. Sometimes the response is appropriate and proportionate, other times, not so much. The trick is to take enough time before responding to process it more cognitively and less emotionally.
b.    Coping practice. Try using the pneumonic Siberian North Railroad (SBNRR): Stop (find the “sacred pause”). Breathe (reinforce the pause). Notice (recognize and name the physical bodily reaction). Reflect (figure out where the emotion is coming from). Respond (in a way that ends positively).

Social Animal: #8--Self Control

Self Control: Kids are born with a certain temperament—basically high reactive or low reactive—essentially they are either anxious or calm. However, the range of this temperament is wide, and kids can evolve within broad limits or bands. Anxious kids will likely be more anxious than calm ones, but over time they can adapt and evolve to be less anxious. Researchers maintain that people who learn self control (whether anxious or calm) will become far more successful over a lifetime. Experiments around children being able to delay gratification are stunning in their ability to project future lifetime success. Athletes, researchers found, engaged in cycles of perception, re-perception, and correction. And star athletes did this better because their brains were quieter (less distracted) than other athletes. Their self-monitoring, called mind-sight, keeps them in control of which inner self they will allow to manifest. The Cherokee legend of the Two Wolves would be a perfect fit for this chapter. Just Google it for the story. It’s worth your effort.

Executive Coach to President Obama

Third in a series of observations....

3. Lead with your incredibly even-handed personality: “It’s really true that I am even tempered. I do get angry, but it’s a controlled anger. I don’t blow up at people….”

Avoid overreacting to the success and failure that will inevitably happen—they’re both imposters. Leaders, especially presidents, always speak with “worldwide megaphones.” Whatever you say will be heard as coming from on high. As such, leaders in general and world leaders specifically don’t simply have opinions; rather, their opinions are heard by others as commandments. Speak softly and remain even handed.