Overview: I believe that the heart of this book is embodied in a
quote by Martin Luther King Jr. from the Letter
from Birmingham Jail: "We are caught in the inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a
single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects us all
indirectly." Professor and psychiatrist Dan Siegel illustrates
King’s words in action. He explains how Mindsight helps us integrate and
regulate the flow of energy and information both within ourselves and among others,
while at the same time honoring differences and reshaping our own brains. The
brain is a social organ and mindsight is about regulating and integrating
emotional and social intelligence. Indeed,
knowing ourselves and sensing the inner world of others is uniquely human. Through
mindful breathing and reflection, we can learn to “name and tame” our emotions
rather than being consumed by and “becoming” those emotions. He proposes a
triangle: Well-being = Mind + Brain + Relationships.
2.
About
Mindsight: Mindsight focuses on both internal reflection and external
relationships, which result in an integrated, social, and resilient mind—one
capable of weathering the ups and downs of life. For example, when we reflect
and can name an emotion, we get a chance to tame that emotion. Thus, saying “I’m mad” (identifying with the
emotion) is far different than saying “I feel mad” (a transient condition). Well-being
results from Siegel’s mindsight triangle of the mind, brain, and relationships.
Well-being emerges when we integrate information and energy within self and between
others while honoring differences. Such connections with self and others keep
us from becoming too rigid (stuck and depressed) or chaotic (angry and
explosive). Navigating the mindsight process between self and others ultimately
sculpts and changes the shape of the brain.
3.
About the
Brain: Neuroplasticity describes how our brain changes and grows throughout
our lives, creating new neuronal connections based on our experiences with self
and others. Siegel uses complex systems’ interdependence and dynamics to
explain how various biological, psychological and physical functions interact
and influence the mind. He describes a metaphor for a healthy mind as the flow
of a river, naturally integrating energy and information in a complex system
between two banks—one of chaos reflected by anxiety and anger and one of
rigidity—being depressed or stuck in place. The healthy flow of this “river”
can be marked by an integrated system that is Flexible, Adaptive, Coherent,
Energized, and Stable (FACES). Thus, the river flows smoothly, neither crashing
up against chaos nor against rigidity.
4.
The Mind and Body: We have both a physical and mental state.
Often doctors separate the two, treating only the physical, ignoring the
mental. Our thoughts shape our brain and that shapes how we feel, relate
and act. We can turn off mindsight and view people different than ourselves—without
empathy—as truly “other.” For example, the Nazis did that to the Jews; in fact,
every act of genocide emerges from this inhumane premise. However, as humans,
we are part of an interconnected whole. Moreover, the brain is the social organ
of the body, but too much focus on the body itself can warp our insight.
Relationship is the lifeblood that makes us human and resilient. When we share
information with each other, energy flows and relationships grow. Our neurons transmit
our information and energy to others, and our mind regulates the process. We
develop our ability to self-regulate through practices like mindful breathing
and meditation. This reflection and regulation takes place in the prefrontal
cortex (PFC).
5.
Your PFC:
The very front of your brain is called the prefrontal cortex. It connects and
integrates everything—especially the upper (rational) and lower (emotional)
brain. The nerves in the middle of the PFC can be strengthened and accelerated by
reflection, such as mindful meditation. And the more we reflect, the stronger
the nerves become that communicate with and control the limbic system. So,
reflection leads to self- and other-relationship regulation. The PFC is where reflection takes place and what
helps us develop mindsight that promotes the following 9 domains of mental integration:
1. Bodily regulation (regulates heart, digestion, etc.); 2. Attuned
communication with self and others; 3. Emotional internal balance and
meaning—not chaos or rigidity; 4. The extinction of fear (self-calming); 5.
Flexibility and pause before responding/reacting; 6. Capacity for insight into self;
7. Empathy for others; 8. Morality—awareness of the greater good; 9. Intuition—integrating
bodily “felt sense” (the wisdom of the body) with the more logical mind.
6.
Reflection,
Relationships, and Resilience: When you reflect and understand your own
feelings, you can better navigate relationships with others and become more resilient
to the ups and downs of life. The “tripod of reflection” consists of: 1.
Openness—being receptive and aware, not judgmental or stuck; 2. Observation—seeing
the context while experiencing an event; and, 3. Objectivity—having a thought
or feeling but not being swept away by it. Reflection through meditative
breathing is the best place to start. Focusing on our breath calms the mind and
integrates the body and the mind. Developing
a regular, reflective mindfulness practice strengthens the PFC’s connection to
the body and limbic system and puts us in a more integrated state capable of
relationships and resilience in our lives. All the research on well-being says
that for resilience, social relationships are the #1 determiner of our success.
And reflection helps us develop and maintain strong, positive, reinforced
relationships.
Mindsight: The New
Science of Personal Transformation by Daniel Siegel, M.D. (Bantam Books,
Copyright 2010), reviewed by Steve Gladis, June 2016.
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